Reflection
by RoseNoire313
Summary: Dasey one shotsongfic. Can't really give to much but it's about how Casey realizes she has changed. Hope you enjoy!


I do not own Life with Derek

I hope you enjoy!

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Look at me,

You may think you see

Who I really am,

But you'll never know me.

The whole family had left. Casey McDonald was kneeling on the floor of her living room in a tight black dress that went slightly pass her knees while listening to _Reflection _by Christina Aguilera. She didn't know what she could possibly do, she felt so lonely. In her hands lay a picture of Max holding her in his arms after his team had one in the finals. She had been so happy that night but now she was left with nothing. Casey wasn't popular and every day she had been reminded of that. Max was popular though and she didn't want to loose him so she had changed.

Everyday,

it's as if I play

A part.

Casey had become a cheerleader. She let her women rights acts go and began to go to parties every week instead. She began to wear tighter and more revealing clothes. She had gotten what she wanted. She became popular, had many 'friends', and most importantly to her she was still with Max.

Now I see,

If I wear a mask,

I can fool the world,

but I cannot fool my heart.

To everyone at school she was thought of as having the perfect life. She was cool, her step-brother was the coolest guy in school, and she was dating a football player who himself was cool. Yeah any girl would die at the chance of being her and every guy wanted to be with her…but the truth was that it was killing her.

Who is that girl I see?

Staring straight,

Back at me.

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside?

Casey knew she had lost who she was. Her one true friend she never talked to anymore and she barely saw her family. Everything she once stood for was gone. As she looked down at the coffee table she could see her reflection even though the room was extremely dim and she finally let her tears out. The girl she was looking at wasn't her. The girl she was looking at ignored her best friend, didn't care about her family, and would hurt others so she could stay popular. The girl she was looking at stayed out late with her boyfriend and let him feel her up all he wanted. No the girl she was looking at wasn't her, it was the girl she had become.

I am now,

In a world

Where I have to hide in my heart,

and what I believe in.

Why had she changed? Why did she want to be with Max so badly that she would change who she was? She was in love. She was in love with the one guy she could never have. The one guy who would never return her love. She was in love with Derek Venturi, her step-brother.

She knew she would never have his love. She knew she had to move on. Then she met Max. He was the perfect boyfriend but she always thought that she wasn't the perfect girlfriend. She needed Max, she couldn't lose him. At least when she was with Max she wasn't think about Derek that much. She couldn't go back to watching Derek be with every girl as her heart was being slowly ripped to pieces.

But somehow,

I will show the world what's inside my heart,

And be loved for who I am.

Tonight had been her winter formal. It was supposed to be one of her greatest nights. Every one she hung around with was there. And then it happened. Emily Davis walked up to them. She looked so happy and then one of her 'friends' told her to go away. Emily told them that Nick, one of the foot ball guys, had asked her out. He then put his arms around one of the tall blonde cheerleaders and told her to get a life because it was all a joke. Every one began to laugh, Emily began to cry and then she noticed Casey. She glared at her with so much pain and asked. "What happened to you? We used to be best friends. And now you're exactly the type of girl that we said we would never be!" Emily had then left and the announcer for winter king and queen came on. She had one. She should have been thrilled but all she heard were Emily's words. Realization finally hit her, and there in front of everybody she ran out the doors.

Who is that girl I see,

staring straight

back at me?

Why is my reflection someone I don't know?

Max had quickly caught up to her and asked what the hell she was doing. Without an explanation she simply told him they were through. Leaving Max behind she went to a bus stop and just waited. The bus arrived and she simply went in. There were only three other people in the bus. It was like she was in a state of shock. She couldn't believe what she had done and for that moment she couldn't feel anything either. She looked at the mom who was holding a baby in her arms and then she looked at the old lady. The old lady wore nice clothes and looked respectable, but she had an emotionless expression. And then it hit Casey. Was she going to be like her? Was she going to look fine on the outside while on the inside she was an empty and hollow.

Must I pretend that I'm

someone else

for all time.

When will my reflection show,

who I am inside?

Before Casey knew what she was doing she pulled on the red cord that signaled the bus to stop. When it stopped she instantly ran out of the bus and simply kept on running. Thank fully the bus had stopped only about ten blocks away from her house. As Casey ran she started to feel her emotions coming back. And just like that she started to feel the guilt, the hurt, and the need to be herself. But for so long she had been wearing a mask that she didn't know what she would find underneath it.

There's a heart that must be free

to fly

That burns with a need to know

the reason why

Casey had ran into her house and collapsed on the floor. And there she was. Alone and empty. She didn't know how she had let it get this bad. She never actually thought that she would loose who she was. But now she new she wanted to stop pretending. She wanted to be herself. But the question was who was she?

Why must we all conceal

What we think

How we feel?

And there in the living room, on the floor Casey cried. She couldn't help it anymore. She was kneeling on the floor, holding her head, crying her eyes out. She was finally letting her true emotions show. And then, unbeknownst to her Derek walked into the house. He had seen her leave and ran out looking for her. He saw her with Max and thought that Max would be better at comforting her so he reluctantly went back in. It wasn't till he saw Max back inside with a cheerleader in his arms that he realized Casey had left. He had held back his anger at Max and ran out to find her. And know he did the only thing he thought he could do, the only thing he felt he should truly do. He went over to Casey and wrapped her in is arms.

Must there be

a secret me

I'm forced to hide

I won't pretend that I'm

someone else

for all time.

Casey felt the warm strong arms wrap around her and so she looked up. What she saw made her melt. She was looking at Derek and could see the true worry in his eyes.

"Casey what happened?" Derek's voice was little over a whisper but Casey could still clearly hear him.

"Nothing...I'm fine." Casey looked away. She knew she couldn't tell him the truth.

"No, you're not." Derek's hold on her tightened. He cupped her chin and her look at him, all the while being gentle. " Casey what happened?'

His eyes were so gentle. His touch so warm. Casey looked at him and knew she needed to tell him. "Derek…Me and Max broke up. I was sick of it. I was sick of trying to be some one I'm not. '"

"Case…"

She felt herself crying harder now. He had called her Case again and it meant the world to her that he still remembered her even a bit like she truly was. "Look at me Derek. This isn't me. I'll never be who he wants me to be." Casey then looked down and in a mere whisper said, "I'll never be who you want me to be. I'll never be the girl you'll love, but I do love you."

"Case…"

"No, I know you don't…"  
Before Casey knew it Derek had placed his lips on hers. That one moment where there lips met for the first time was like nothing she could ever explain. She felt the spark, the love, the care, the passion in it and she could feel how amazingly perfect it felt. Derek now snaked his arms around her waist and Casey wrapped her arms around his neck. Casey couldn't believe this was actually happening and as they continued to kiss so did the tears rolling down her eyes.

When will my reflection show

who I am inside?

Derek gently pulled away from Casey. "Case…I never wanted you to change. Case…I love you. I loved how you never back down to me. I loved how you stood up for those you loved. I loved how you tried to be the best at everything because it made me feel like if I tried I could be some one too. Case I loved everything about you. You never have to be some one you're not because you're the girl I fell in love with."

When will my reflection show

who I am inside?

"I don't want to be somebody different anymore. I love you Derek Venturi."

"And I love you Casey McDonald."

Casey looked into Derek's eyes and could sense the love in them. Derek gently pulled her closer while placing her on him. So there, on the night of their winter formal, in their living room floor, was Casey on Derek's lap while he held her to him and let her cry. Casey wasn't crying because she felt empty though. Casey was crying for everything that she had done but now knew that she could always be herself. Because there she was, in the arms of the man she loved and she knew that nothing would ever change that.


End file.
